Are your negative expectations self-sabotaging your hopes and dreams?

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Negative Expectations, and Self Sabotage. One of the major barometers of success is what and how we manage our expectations. Subconscious negative expectations can sabotage our hopes and dreams. How do they get into our subconscious? Well, oftentimes, patterns of thinking was set at an early age and reinforced. They became the norm in the way we see, think and speak about ourselves and others. If you find yourself experiencing unwanted, similar patterns of attraction and interactions in relationships personally and professionally, you can do something about that. negative expectations, self sabotage,

First, to help bring to the surface your unconscious expectations, take a few minutes to be silent and write down the thoughts or scripts that enter your brain.  You may find your mind unfocused, landing on tasks, worries, past mistakes, shameful memories etc. If you remain still in the discomfort of that silence, you may hear audible voices, or you may just feel anxious with worries.  If you feel the latter, ask yourself "what is causing me to feel worried or anxious?"

Second, write down everything that comes to your mind without self judgement or gas lighting yourself. Then at a later time, examine what you wrote. Are there negative self talk? Are there patterns of thought?

Third, try to replace the negative self talk with loving and hopeful statements. As examples, below are a few to help you along:

“What if l never find someone who will love me?",  replace with “I am lovable and there is a person who is right for me”

“Why do bad things always happen to me?" replace with “bad things happen to everyone and this is temporary."

“Why is it that I can never get ahead?" replace with “I am being tested and if I persevere, good things will happen."

“My best days are behind me” replace with “I am grateful for today.  Good days are ahead of me”

“I can never achieve that” replace with “I can’t do it yet, but I will strive to achieve it.”

“I am stupid”,  replace with “ I am learning”

“This is too hard. I just want things to be easy” replace with “this is hard but it will become easier the more I do it”

“Things will never change. He will never change.  I will never change.” replace with “My growth is not dependent on him changing.”

“This is the way I am” replace with “I am capable of becoming a better person each day”

"No-one appreciates me. " replace with “ I don’t need others to appreciate me to appreciate myself.”

If you find yourself stuck, book a no-cost discovery call.